Another old one

Off-Topic Started Last reply 14 posts
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by U.S. Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight.

(P)=PROBLEM
(S)=SOLUTION

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough,
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield
(S) Live bugs on order

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) IFF inoperative
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
(S) That's what they're there for

(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Aircraft handles funny
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious

(P) Target Radar hums
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words
SERIOUS LOLLING HERE NEARLY PEEING, KEELED OVER, STOMACH PAINFUL, BARELY BREATHING LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

I once had a flight review where an idiot accused a turbine engine of this. We figured out what he meant, but somebody wasn't very familiar with the terminology lol.
No one ever accuses officers of being smart.
There's the reason the real work is done by contractors ;)
Hehe I enjoyed that ^^
that made my monday, thanks. now I need to stop laughing cause people in the office are looking at me funny :p
this reminded me of a site a friend sent me a couple of years back so I dug up the link

213 Things Skippy Can't Do (http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html)

still haven't been able to read the whole thing, but my favorites are


33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

That's was very funny, cheered up a very very dull Monday.

Oh and SirE I didn't realise you had a higher level character on my server, thought it was only a lowbie, saw you at the raids on Saturday night, you are real not an illusion :p

That's was very funny, cheered up a very very dull Monday.

Oh and SirE I didn't realise you had a higher level character on my server, thought it was only a lowbie, saw you at the raids on Saturday night, you are real not an illusion :p


Huh? Which server?
gustin

Madders, you sure it wasnt' Alrohir? I think it's someone else with a similar name.
Ooooo could have been, I only saw them in passing. :( SirE is a myth after all :p

:( SirE is a myth after all :p



Lies, he's as real as Santa Claus. And as....jolly.
Holy crap... that was funny!