I recieved this in an email and laughed for a good half hour, hope you enjoy!
You find out interesting things when you have sons, like
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a
crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and
a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint
can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a
long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's
already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-
year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
1 7.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys
do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response
time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.
Brake fluid and clorox hmmmmm. You should try styrafoam and gasoline.....ends up a lot like napalm.
Here is another beauty I did as a 6 year old. Red food coloring and a blown up balloon can paint the ceiling and walls of a house faster than a brush. After that I learned that my mom could hit more homeruns than Babe Ruth. Didnt think a paddle could break the soundbarrier? They can!
I raised 3 children (thank God they are more or less adults now) and can identify with most of the stuff on here!
You forgot a couple:
*) eventually the hardware store will not put more replacement glass for windows on-account.
*) the number of weeks/days a child can wear a pair of tennis shoes is inversely proportional to the cost of the shoes.
*) you will never be able to actually find your son when a neighborhood mom is pounding furiously on your door.
*) if you have a pool, scientific experiments on which animals and insects and yes, even birds, can swim will never end........
*) for some reason, playing car-wash with rags and sand and pebbles never produces quite the shine that dad gets on Saturdays when he washes the car.
*) the interest in a structure is directly related to its height off the ground.
*) when attempting to fly, no elevation ever appears 'too high'
*) the emergency room will not only eventually stop rendering treatment 'on-account' they will also eventually call social services who will visit for most of the day.
*) the social worker will leave your house quickly if you leave the boys free to be themselves.