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The point is that I've honored your site with my presence, and now I want to tell you about my theory. Once upon a time I was going over the street and thinking "need to come back home sooner and lick my parrot". And suddenly I slipped on the road-metal and, having done a quadro-salto and raised up for 30 meters, I realized that I've opened a portal into another world with my hardly-repeatable movings. I was kind of a Portal-Man, and I could bring people to the parallel dimension. Having understood it, I took a Grocery Store from my pocked instantly and remade it into the Department of Moving Between Spaces and deleted a few dozens of employees. Then I started my business and made money such a way. What was I supposed to do, it was a hard time, we survived as we could, so to speak.
So once upon a time I remembered that I forgot to lick my parrot. And so much time had passed, so I ran home as fast as I could to do it. I ran like a mad, like a woodworker, whose beer had been drunk while he made a door for an order of any citizen. And opened the door, I saw a terrible picture ahead - there was an another door! Oh my god! Stretching the door, I opened it and licked my parrot. On the whole, birds are cool. That's the point. You can snatch them to paws and fly, raise high in the sky like magic boys from school. They do always fly, because the wicked teachers of physical culture do kick them hard with schoolbags.
Many people asked me why I lick parrots every day. And today I would like to answer this question with a long and instructive story.
Did you know that daily licking of parrots contributes the more efficient activity during the whole day? So besides that you clean your favorite parrot, you increase your tonus, potential and other abilities for 24 nearly hours. Daily licking of the parrot could prolong a life by 40-50 years, heal deceases, and in special cases resurrect people from the dead.
You might ask how I know such a truth. I’m going to tell you, show you all my cards, reveal the terrible secret, which was hidden by any possible governments since olden times. But now… everything has changed, and the carefully kept secret is finally revealed.
We can find the first mentions about the Order of the Parrot Lickers approximately in 1400-1500 years. Then they were called Pirats. The mysterious hermits, which are assigned to the romantic image in modern films, are nothing else than a cover created by government. Actually, at that time those people who were called Pirats knew the secret of the Parrot Licking, but spreading of this secret was forbidden, and they were banished from every possible countries and threatened by death. Surprisingly, there were no cases of information leakage, and somehow all of few captivated Pirats either died in suffering from unbelievable tortures or killed themselves in time before being captured, taking their secret to the depth of sea. As we can see, they knew the price of this truly powerful secret, as well as now it’s known by few people, as well as you know it now. Appreciate what you got known and believe in your powers.